Reducing stress

Today's post is about noticing what stress feels like and looks like for you, and finding little yet important ways to reduce stress and nurture positive energy.

'You are the world's leadingauthority on yourself. You know best what stresses you, and what reduces the stress. This inner wisdom is based on a lifetime of living your life from the inside out. It is available to you anytime you care to consult it'.

-Matthew McKay + Patrick Fanning

Tending to self

To start, I encourage you to make a habit this week of noticing when you're becoming stressed. Simply paying attention to your own signals of tension can be a terrific first step in feeling less stress by naming it. Oh, there it is.  Is there tension in your head + neck ... your tummy or gut ... your back ... ?   Do you become less patient with unexpected issues ... Do you feel rushed and irritated?

Giving ourselves permission to pause and notice what we're feeling is an act of kindness that can go a long way in befriending our own experience.

Next, try doing something for 5 minutes that feels uplifting, such as walking quickly, singing to yourself, petting your cat, or taking pictures outside. Now, what do you feel in the areas of your body that were previously tense?

Getting curious about your moments of stress and their manifestations can be the first step in making them less weighty. They may not loom as large when they are seen + felt in the moment, tended to.

The Daily Relaxer book, as quoted above

http://www.amazon.com/Daily-Relaxer-Relax-Refresh-Spirit/dp/1572244542

Heart movement

How the heart moves The way we love is movement, collaboration, evolution. We become more expansive as we risk letting beauty, closeness with another, and new experiences enter our lives. Each of these actions represents heart movement, as you learn what it looks like to go outside your emotional comfort zone, either a little or quite significantly. To me, each act of learning is something to celebrate, as you keep walking the pathway of love and discovery, in the ways that are important for you right now.

A neat way to see how your heart and mind are growing is to keep a box full of quotes that you write down. You can include thoughts and inspirations you're having, quotations you've read, and things people in your life have told you. Make it your intention to write a note every day, and look them over once a week. I think of it as mini love notes to yourself.

I wish you some ahh-hah moments and smiles as you have fun with your treasure box of notes. 

Keep your connection with love: in kindness towards yourself, in the love you show dear people in your life, in the very goodness you notice  in those around you.

A neat post on why kindness is a good thing all around: www.mindbodygreencom/0-6445/5-reasonstobekind

Being present to yourself

Being present to yourself  Presence. Most of us appreciate the times when our partners, family and friends offer us their full presence. It fuels our heart to share time with someone who is attentive to us through listening, showing an interest in our experiences, and showing that they love us in the here-and-now.

It also feels uplifting when we give our heartfelt presence to someone we care about. We enter into the other person’s story, and in so doing we are enriched in some way.

Now what about making it a daily practice to be present to yourself ? Let’s get curious about how this might look. For myself, one thing it means is allowing enough time in my morning routine that I can move at my own pace, without a big rush. That lets me arrive into the day feeling more grounded and prepared for going out into the world.

The simple act of being completely present to another person is truly an act of love.

No drama is required. 

-Sharon Salzberg

Some ways to foster presence:

 Notice where you’re at, emotionally. Do a check-in midday to see what emotions are rising up in you. Try not to critique them, simply notice. Breathing deeply as you ponder this can be helpful.

Plan to do one nourishing thing for yourself every day. Schedule in time for relaxing with a book, chatting with a friend, or going for a revitalizing walk.

Choose whether it needs to be a you-focused or other-focused evening. Becoming more attentive to the plans that involve only you allows you permission to feed your inner world. Being social isn’t always what your soul needs.

Let your creative side out to play. Set-up some time to paint, draw, write a story, dance, or re-decorate your space. Re-discover what mediums you enjoy working with, even if you don’t consider yourself an especially creative person. Appreciate the process of making something, even when the end product turns out differently than you planned.

Let go of your plans. Decide you are going to welcome spontaneity into your life this week! Choose which area you’re comfortable beginning with, such as how you spend time with a good friend. Welcome the extraordinary to infuse new energy into your normal habits and ways of thinking.

It can be so liberating to become more present. Less chaos from getting over-stimulated by the world out there, more appreciation for what you need and what you enjoy, less anxiety and more breathing.

 Have fun trying these ideas! If you would like support in re-focusing your direction, and activating your heart and mind in a fresh way- please know that you are welcome to book a session anytime.

warmly,

Karyn

Dance. Smile. Giggle. Marvel. TRUST. HOPE. LOVE. WISH. BELIEVE. Most of all, enjoy every moment of the journey, and appreciate where you are at this moment instead of always focusing on how far you have to go.  -Mandy Hale

 An inspiring tidbit:writer Mandy Hale: http://thesinglewoman.net/about/

A soft place to land

A soft place to land. That's how I felt when spending time with a good friend recently. I felt such freedom in sharing about life in the kind of conversation where there was no critique, simply an ease in being together and receiving what each other had to say.  Laughter, compassion and a genuine delight in each other was what made the evening so liberating. That is good soul food. Nowto look a little further into what helps create this kind of safety.

It is so enjoyable when we feel comfortable in speaking as we need to, and we know that it is okay- our words have a soft place to land within us and within the other person.

Here are a few thoughts on what cultivates safety between friends:

Spending time with someone when you aren't in a 'perfectly' grounded frame of mind. When that person receives you as you are, with kindness and patience- that builds a strong bond.

Ability to let go and trust that you are a valuable friend, and that you have greatness to offer the friendship.

Opening your heart and mind to being delighted. Finding new things to appreciate about another person can really strengthen your closeness. And I also think that when you find joy in a friend, you are practicing the art of joy towards yourself too! This is about learning to appreciate yourself every day, in some small way, and to take in the wonder of life around you.

Being present. Making regular contact important. When you find little ways to be in touch with that person, both of you have a sense of what is happening in eachother's lives. And you will likely both feel loved when the other makes an effort to be present.

Wishing you a soft place to land, as you make connections out there in the world, and as you resonate in new ways with your own heart and mind.

-KD

Daring to try: the power of mistakes

I've been thinking about mistakes. Why we dare to make them, how we respond when they happen, what we say or do next.

Do you get discouraged when you've made a blunder? We've all been unkind or less than helpful towards someone we love, and sometimes it's easy to slide into over-criticizing ourselves for that 'whoops' moment.

Awareness is key. Simply becoming more aware of when you are getting frustrated, tired or impatient is helpful in lessening the impact of these uh-oh moments. Self-kindness is also major. Remember that you are growing as a person, which naturally means that you won't be perfect at all things, all the time.

Daring to try. What conversations have you courageously brought up? What changes have you started to make in your daily lifestyle that supports your well-being in better ways? I don't take trying lightly. Sometimes we forget to honour the simply fact that we are doing our best, in this moment of time. And something little is better than no movement at all; or being rigid in how we see what we're capable of.

I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.

Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're Doing Something. 

-Neil Gaiman from http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2011/12/my-new-year-wish.html

I am grateful for all the little (and very significant) conversations that have sparked my interest in mistakes. The very ground of honest living upon which great things are grown!

KD